Until I Fall Away
by rosenbaumgirl23
Summary: My entry in the Fire & Ice Challenge--Chloe and Clark are together, but she sleeps with Lex. *Her POV up*
1. Default Chapter

Until I Fall Away  
  
Couple(s): Chloe/Lex, implied CC, implied CL  
  
Rating: R for language and sensuality  
  
Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me  
  
Spoilers for: nothing  
  
Author's Note: This is as 'R'-rated as I can write. I know it's short, but I couldn't extend it any farther. Told from Lex's POV. If I should do a second chapter from her perspective, let me know in your reviews. Thanks muchly.  
  
******  
  
It was one of those things that you don't plan for, yet you aren't entirely surprised when it happens. The day Chloe came by the Manor, she said she was "looking for Clark. He said he'd be here."  
  
Obviously her boyfriend wasn't visiting me, or "dropping off produce", like he'd told her. I knew where he was, of course; he and the lovely yet dull Miss Lang were in Metropolis eating dinner together.  
  
You may think it was shitty for me to help Clark cheat on his girlfriend. It was, really, now that I think about it. Still, I knew Chloe deserved better than him, and that Clark was in no way capable of loving her the way she needed someone to.  
  
That's not to say that I thought I deserved her; I didn't, and I don't. She's too lovely, too damn sexy, too perfect for me to have. Maybe I don't want her, maybe I do. All I know is that she's so, utterly, indescribably breathtaking in the moonlight. How do I know this? Simple: I slept with her.  
  
It happened so fast that day. We were sitting in my office--perched on those ominous leather chairs of mine--watching the fire crackle. Her amazing blue eyes reflected the flames, and I had to touch her.  
  
She could've pulled away. But, instead, she grasped my hand--which I had simply run tenderly down her soft cheek--and stared at me. "Lex," she breathed, something like lust or desire in her usually perky voice.  
  
Then she was all over me; her mouth burning against mine, her hands under my shirt, undressing me, her eyes never closing; not even when I screwed her. Yes, I screwed my best friend's girl on the rugs in my office, while the fire burned and glinted off her blonde hair.  
  
It was very quiet; there were no cries or names shouted in moments of passion. It was simply me and a sexy girl rolling around on the rug.  
  
I worried that I was taking the virginity of a minor. That never bothered me before, but I knew Chloe was special. I knew she would have wanted her first time to be different. At least I think so. But then, she was having her merry way with me--her eyes blazing with heat as they stared down into mine--and I had to wonder if, maybe, she and Clark had done that before.  
  
Yes, I'd thought about the two of them. It was usually a fleeting glimpse, and the image only came to me when I saw her. That might make me a pervert--I've been called worse things--but, hell, it wasn't an awful picture to have in one's head.  
  
But I had the real thing for a few hours. The second time, she took the initiative; she just let me lie there and breathe, lie there and revel in her. She was enjoying herself. It was obvious by the way she smirked at me the whole time; almost as though she knew the insane effect she was having on me.  
  
And then it was over as soon as it had begun. We were lying on the floor, breathing heavily. She made no move to cover herself, just laid there and held my gaze. My tongue was still hanging out of my mouth, so she leaned over and kissed me deeply.  
  
My hands moved down her hips, and she let me touch her. She laid there, still smirking, and allowed me to stare at her; to drink in the sight of her glistening body. "Chloe," I whispered hoarsely.  
  
She grabbed my hand, kissed it, then leaned over and--licked the top of my head. I shivered in spite of myself, and she laughed.  
  
I knew it was time to tell her where Clark was. I had to, though I don't know why I felt that way. "Chloe," I began again, "do you want to know where Clark is?"  
  
Her face clouded and she pushed herself away from my hand. After a beat, she nodded.  
  
"He's with Lana in Metropolis," I heard myself tell her, hating myself for it.  
  
There was a long pause; then, "fuck," she whispered, with more emotion than I'd ever heard from her. The word would have been shocking coming from her lips, but after our time together, I learned to expect anything from her.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all I could offer.  
  
She shrugged, then stood and stretched. I watched her lithe body move, though I told myself not to. She dressed quickly--in jeans and a black t-shirt--modesty not an issue. "You knew about this?" she asked with an edge in her voice.  
  
I found myself nodding. "I set it up."  
  
That was when she surprised me again; she could have called me a 'bastard' or spit in my face for ruining her happiness. Instead, she sighed and pulled me to my feet. She let her eyes roam over my body, and I actually felt self-conscious.  
  
"I don't care, Lex. He never really cared about me, anyway; he was just using me until the fairy princess got a clue. I knew that all along, but I didn't accept it until now. Thank you for just now."  
  
She was thanking me for screwing her? What do I say to that? "You're welcome to come back anytime." Smooth, Luthor.  
  
A smile lit up her face. "I just might do that." She stood on her toes and caught my lips in a quick, passionate kiss. "Bye."  
  
I grabbed her upper arm before she could open the door. "Wait. Have you ever--done that before? Slept with someone, I mean?" I don't know why I cared.  
  
The elusive smirk replaced her smile. "Goodbye, Lex."  
  
"Bye," I managed to choke out, still in awe of her natural beauty; a beauty she didn't seem to realize exists.  
  
I may never be the honest, kind, loving guy she deserves; until she finds that man, however, I'll be here for her.  
  
FINIS 


	2. Hey, Jealousy

Couple(s): ChLex, implied CC, implied CL  
  
Rating: PG-13/R  
  
Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me.  
  
Spoilers for: nothing  
  
Author's Note: This is essentially 'Until I Fall Away' told from her POV. It's a little less 'R' than the first because she's the one talking; even though she's a journalist, I don't see her as the kind to describe her night with one Lex Luthor. (She's the luckiest person-- fictional or otherwise--ever. :-) ) If I should do a third chapter, let me know.  
  
Hey, Jealousy  
  
******  
  
I knew Clark wasn't at Lex's, dropping off produce; my boyfriend sucks at lying. If he plans to be a reporter someday, he'll have to learn to lie as well as I do.  
  
"Lex, I'm looking Clark; he said he'd be here." I strided into the office without knocking, after one of his maids let me into the Manor. Luckily she'd been too busy cleaning to ask what I wanted. Why *did* I visit my father's boss, who also happens to be my boyfriend's best friend? Simple: I assumed he--Lex, that is--knew fully well where Clark was that evening, and I planned to utilize my journalism skills to find out.  
  
"Miss Sullivan," he returned flipply, glancing up from paperwork, "it's good to see you. I'm afraid I don't know where Clark is at the moment; I assumed he was with you."  
  
Gliding over to one of the two black leather armchairs in front of his always-roaring fireplace, I sighed. "Evidently not, Lex. He mentioned nothing about any secret rendezvous?" I was too worried to be subtle; I feared that Clark was cheating on me. It never occurred to my pessimistic self that maybe, perhaps, he was out buying me a present.  
  
"Not a thing," he replied smoothly, dropping onto the other chair and facing me. "You're welcome to stay in case he shows up."  
  
Lex had always been polite to me; me being his assistant manager's daughter and all. I never imagined, however, that he'd be so kind as to look at me with concern in his piercing, probing blue eyes. Then, suddenly, he leaned over and grazed my cheek with back of his palm.  
  
The firelight reflected in his irises, accented his sharp features. He's always been gorgeous, and I figured seducing him--or being seduced by him--would convince him to confess that he did, in fact, arrange for Clark to be absent. (Or maybe that's a load of crap, and he was just too damn breath-taking to ignore.) "Lex," I breathed, grasping his wandering hand.  
  
I threw myself at him, knocking him onto the rug.  
  
I let him take control, assuming he knew what he was doing better than I did--even though Clark and I had done our fair share of rolling around in the hay, literally--and, of course, being Lex, he did have more experience. I didn't close my eyes all through-out our quiet session on his floor; he was absolutely beautiful, and I couldn't have looked away if I wanted to.  
  
His eyes bore into mine, almost into my soul--as tired as that expression is. Lex was thinking about something, which was obvious by the way he stared at me. (It didn't occur to me until later that he could have been memorizing the sight of me.)  
  
Several times I stifled gasps because I got the impression that one doesn't make sounds when with him; he didn't not even when it was my turn to take control. He laid there on the floor, his fingers in my hair, his mouth hot on mine. He felt *good*; more comfortable, strangely more familiar than Clark. A part of me knew what we were doing was wrong, but I ignored that voice in my head.  
  
And then we were finished, lying next to each other and fighting for breath. Neither of us made any efforts to cover ourselves; modesty wouldn't be an issue ever again. *'Ever again'? You planning to screw your boyfriend's best friend again, Sullivan?* I didn't have an answer for that.  
  
Lex was staring at me, so I leaned over and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back, his warm, firm hands brushed my hips, and I tried not to shiver when he whispered my name hoarsely. "Chloe." The way he said it-- like he cared about nothing except me (which is a load of crap, by the way)- -spoke of an intimacy we didn't exactly share.  
  
He has gorgeous hands; really, I've had a secret obsession with his fingers since we first met. Because of that, and a sudden urge to touch him, I grasped one of his hands, and pressed a kiss onto his soft, sweaty palm.  
  
When I finished, he had a slight smirk on his lips. I wanted to get rid of it, so I leaned over and licked the top of his head. To my delight, the look faded and he shivered. A laugh escaped me when I realized that I had made Lex bloody Luthor let his guard down.  
  
"Chloe," he began out of the blue, "do you want to know where Clark is?"  
  
He *did* know something. Disgusted with him for lying to me, I slid away from his touch, and I nodded. I didn't really want to hear, but I did at the same time. I equated it to a car crash on the side of the road: you have a morbid curiosity to see what happened, but you know you'll be disturbed if you look.  
  
Lex didn't say anything for a full three minutes, and I was ready to shake the answer out of him. "He's with Lana in Metropolis," he whispered, his eyes sad.  
  
*'With Lana in Metropolis'* Something told me they weren't just window-shopping in the trendy boutiques. What could I say except, "fuck." I rarely ever swear, but finding out that the man I just slept with--and had a nice time with, at that--knew that my boyfriend was cheating on me...I was going to slap him.  
  
But before I could, he whispered, "I'm sorry."  
  
Lex Luthor apologized. His eyes were sincere when he did so. I aimed my anger at Clark and Miss Fairy Princess, unable to be annoyed at the billionaire. "You know about this?" I snapped, just to say something that didn't involve cursing at Clark. I dressed quickly--in jeans and a black t-shirt--not intending to leave until he gave me an answer.  
  
When he nodded slowly, almost regretfully, I didn't know whether to scream or cry. I ended up doing neither. "I set it up," he clarified.  
  
Right. That figured. I had half a mind to call him a 'bastard', to accuse him of using me, to ask him what possessed him to do that in the first place...but then it hit me: I wasn't angry that Clark cheated on me-- I had no right to be after my evening with Lex--I was angry that he'd gotten what he wanted all along; I was angry that he was happy. Some best friend I am, huh?  
  
With a resigned sigh, I pulled Lex to his feet, and let my gaze move down his fit body. His own gaze lowered to the floor, and he appeared almost--embarrassed. *Wow.* The change in his mood, the change in his attitude, piqued my curiosity; I wanted to find out what caused him to be so self-conscious.  
  
"I don't care, Lex. He never really cared about me, anyway; he was just using me until the fairy princess got a clue. I knew that all along, but I didn't accept it until now. Thank you for just now," I announced in my normal speaking voice.  
  
I was thanking him for making me examine my relationship with Clark, not for the time on the floor--though I did appreciate it--but he seemed to think I meant the latter; just as well, since I didn't explain the former to him. "You're welcome to come back anytime," Lex said firmly, smiling slightly. A real smile.  
  
I smiled as well, pleased by his offer. "I just might do that." Testing him, I stood on my toes and kissed him briefly. His lips pressed against mine for a few seconds--maybe he wasn't just using me. "Bye."  
  
He grasped my arm before I could leave his office. "Wait. Have you ever--done that before? Slept with someone, I mean?" It didn't bother me, like it would have coming from anyone else; I wasn't sure why Lex asking the question made it okay, however.  
  
*Yes.* I smirked, wanting to tell him that there are some mysteries best left for the second date, but I didn't want to be so presumptuous as to assume he meant it when he said I could come back. All I said by way of a response was, "Goodbye, Lex."  
  
"Bye," he whispered as I left. I felt his eyes follow me until the door was shut.  
  
I had the potential to fall for him, I knew; not in love, but I knew I could have a very serious crush on him if I let myself. That didn't scare me as much as it would have months ago; in fact, I couldn't wait to see him again.  
  
FINIS 


	3. Found Out About You

Couple(s): ChLex, a bit CC, a bit CL  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me. (Anybody catch the Gin Blossoms theme I have going?)  
  
Spoilers for:  
  
Author's Note: I decided to make this from Clark's POV, even though the true romance is still ChLex. (Woo.) Any and all CC, CL stuff is entirely necessary to the plot--it wouldn't be in here if it wasn't. I'm not that much of a traitor. :-)  
  
Found Out About You  
  
******  
  
I was shaping up to be an awful boyfriend; not only did I sleep with someone who wasn't Chloe --yes, at Lex's suggestion, Lana and I fooled around in the hotel suite he arranged for us -- but I wouldn't have minded doing it again. (Then there's also the fact that I let my best friend help me cheat on my girlfriend, it being his idea, when I could have said, 'no, never in a million years.')  
  
That same night, when we were on our way back to Smallville, it occurred to me why I'm dating Chloe in the first place: I love and adore the girl, but only in a brother-sister sort of way; I asked her out all those months ago because, well, because I admire her. To clarify -- Chloe Sullivan is one of the greatest, most amazing people ever; you either want to be like her, or you want to be with her in hopes that she rubs off on you. I need to be with her in a romantic context, otherwise I won't feel whole. I don't mean that in any sort of romantic, sappy way, however -- I'm serious that I rely on her for my happiness.  
  
It's an awful thing to say about such a fabulous girl, that I'm just using her, but it's true; being friends with her just didn't cut it anymore, but neither did being her boyfriend. I really wanted to, you know...be like her. (There's a bit of a 'Single White Female' thing going on, I know; I didn't even like the movie the one time Chloe forced me to watch it with her, but anyway...)  
  
All the way to the Sullivans' house the day after my evening with Lana, I hated myself for thinking that I wanted to be with Lana instead.  
  
See, the thing is, Chloe deserves more than a guy like me, though she thinks I'm who she wants. She needs a guy who will cherish and love her unconditionally, not someone who will use her for his contentment; that's not how healthy relationships work. Lana and I, though, we *worked*. (Whitney, by the way, was going to be out of the picture soon, Lana assured me. I believed her, for once.)  
  
When I arrived at the house, Chloe was sitting outside on the white porch swing, her hair blowing in the light breeze, her notepad clenched in her hands. When she's busy writing, she has the cutest expression on her face.  
  
"Hey, Clo," I greeted her warmly, getting out of the old pickup truck slowly.  
  
Usually she runs to greet me, but not that day. She simply stood and waited for me to climb up the front steps. A part of me worried; I'd dropped off produce at the Manor before going to see her, and Lex mentioned that she'd stopped by the evening before. I wondered if, maybe, she'd coerced him into explaining my absence, since that was why, I assume, she was there in the first place.  
  
"Hi, Clark," she said with what I detected as false cheerfulness. "It's good to see you."  
  
We kissed, one of the cold, automatic kisses that had become routine, then dropped onto the swing. "Sorry I wasn't around yesterday," I began, setting up the lie I'd been practicing all night, "but Dad and I went to Metropolis to visit my grandparents."  
  
A pause, Chloe glanced at our entwined hands uncomfortably. "How *are* your mom's parents?"  
  
I had no idea when I'd mentioned that Mom's family still lives there. That's my girlfriend for you, though; always surprising. "They're fine," I said casually. "I missed you a lot. I wish you could have been there." I was carrying the fib too far, but being able to lie convincingly felt *good*.  
  
Suddenly, she was near tears. My beautiful, sweet best friend was about to sob, and I instinctively knew I was to blame. Oh, how I hated myself.  
  
"Clark, there's something you need to know," she choked out.  
  
My arms automatically went around her shaking shoulders; would have, even if I wasn't her boyfriend -- even if I was still 'just her best friend'.  
  
"Okay." *She knows,* I told myself. *Lex bloody told her everything.* My self-hatred turned into hatred for my male best friend, and I gripped her tighter.  
  
"I fooled around with Lex, Clark," she finally whispered. "I didn't mind, either." Another pause.  
  
"That's okay, Clo," I whispered. Of course, it shouldn't have been. If I was the proper kind of boyfriend, I would have at least gotten sad or angry. 'How could you do this to me' would have come out at some point. But, I'm not the proper kind of boyfriend.  
  
"Lex also told me where you were last night, which is why we did what we did." She was more depressed than livid, but I didn't take that as a good sign.  
  
The plan had been to let her down easily; to say, 'maybe this isn't working, Clo,' and then suddenly be with Lana. But, as she's fond of saying, 'the best laid plans...'  
  
"I'm sorry." Was that all I had to offer? God, I hate myself.  
  
Her smile was sad. "Don't worry, Clark. I..I had fun. Lex is a good guy. Not that he and I, you know, are going to be a thing or anything, and I...is this it? The bloody relationship I've been wanting since eighth grade is just over because you slept with Lana, and I slept with Lex?"  
  
When she put it that way, it was almost funny. (Or maybe I'm an immature sixteen year-old alien who just drove a proverbial stake through his best friend's heart.)  
  
"Did Lex, um...how did it happen?" If he hurt her, too, I'd kill him. I adore Lex, but Chloe's happiness is much more important to me.  
  
Her eyes widened at the implication that he forced her into something; Chloe's not the kind of girl to let that happen to her. "Lex didn't start anything. Since when am I the sort to--"  
  
I cut her off before she could vocalize my thoughts. "I didn't want it to end this way, Clo." I stared at her firmly, wanting to apologize for forcing her to stray, even though it wasn't really my fault and...  
  
"Dear God," she chuckled, "are we on 'One Life to Live' now?"  
  
Kissing her forehead, I said, with a finality that scared the hell out of me, "I love you, Clo." ('But I can't be the super man you need me to be.')  
  
"I love you, Clark Kent. Now, go get the damn girl, okay?" Her eyes were downcast, but she was smiling.  
  
Something told me that our friendship wouldn't be the same.  
  
SHOULD I CONTINUE? 


End file.
